Confessions from the fuckwits

Zaf

Gearbox Frother
@Nambra too much? I was going to do a whole bar of them, but then the real embarrassment was that I still have my Warhammer folder on the favourites bar. Rookie move!

@Oddjob IKR!? Just makes sense.

@Litenbror We're all on the list together. Say hello to the poor agent who's now digging through all our previous correspondence.
 

Litenbror

Likes Dirt
@Nambra too much? I was going to do a whole bar of them, but then the real embarrassment was that I still have my Warhammer folder on the favourites bar. Rookie move!

@Oddjob IKR!? Just makes sense.

@Litenbror We're all on the list together. Say hello to the poor agent who's now digging through all our previous correspondence.
Keeping someone in a job spending money making the economy tick over. We are doing it for Australia I say.
 

Zaf

Gearbox Frother
I dunno, pappa nurgs has a certain allure about him.....:
Yeah, I wrote that and then thought about having a Battle Sister putting her boot on my throat. Now I want the day to be over so I can go browse random pages on 1d4Chan for some nostalgia nyucks.
 

Ultra Lord

Beanie Fitment Specialist
Yeah, I wrote that and then thought about having a Battle Sister putting her boot on my throat. Now I want the day to be over so I can go browse random pages on 1d4Chan for some nostalgia nyucks.
“Yeah nah sorry boss, gonna stay home and tear the ears off it to some heretical shit”
 
Reactions: Zaf

Jpez

Is bad
So thought I'd give clipless pedals a go. Bought some Mallets and 5 ten Kestrals. .

Was told balancing in a doorway was a good way to practice clipping in and out.
All good for a while until I got distracted by my 4 year old standing there talking at me. Unclip one foot successfully, other foot somehow forgot I was clipped in, bike rolls forward bit, I go down like a bag of shit into the book case in the office. Knock a bunch of nicknacks off the top, smack my ear and damaged my pride.
I look up and my 4 year old has such a look of disappointment on her face. Some how she instinctively knew I was a fuckwit.

I crashed my bike and hadn't even left the house.
 

Ultra Lord

Beanie Fitment Specialist
So thought I'd give clipless pedals a go. Bought some Mallets and 5 ten Kestrals. .

Was told balancing in a doorway was a good way to practice clipping in and out.
All good for a while until I got distracted by my 4 year old standing there talking at me. Unclip one foot successfully, other foot somehow forgot I was clipped in, bike rolls forward bit, I go down like a bag of shit into the book case in the office. Knock a bunch of nicknacks off the top, smack my ear and damaged my pride.
I look up and my 4 year old has such a look of disappointment on her face. Some how she instinctively knew I was a fuckwit.

I crashed my bike and hadn't even left the house.
Love it
 

Brow

Big Block
So thought I'd give clipless pedals a go. Bought some Mallets and 5 ten Kestrals. .

Was told balancing in a doorway was a good way to practice clipping in and out.
All good for a while until I got distracted by my 4 year old standing there talking at me. Unclip one foot successfully, other foot somehow forgot I was clipped in, bike rolls forward bit, I go down like a bag of shit into the book case in the office. Knock a bunch of nicknacks off the top, smack my ear and damaged my pride.
I look up and my 4 year old has such a look of disappointment on her face. Some how she instinctively knew I was a fuckwit.

I crashed my bike and hadn't even left the house.
Bar set low enough that anything from here on out is a step up.
 

Cardy George

Is not in gaol
I was told when I first went clipless that EVERYBODY falls over at least once. I truly believed them and was waiting. And waiting. And waiting.......

18 months later and I'm now working in the same bike shop. I notice my cleats are a bit worn so I flip each one to the other shoe and continue my day. Cue home time, put my shoes on, ride out the door to the pedestrian crossing, stop for traffic, foot won't come out. Splat.

At least you got yours out of the way early.
 

Isaakk

Likes Bikes
At least you got yours out of the way early.
Didn't manage to leave the driveway for mine, managed to at least get out of the house thankfully. Was first time trying cleats so thought i'd test them at home first. Asphalt driveway, things were going swimmingly, felt more & more comfortable. Tried a wheelie (dropper fully up), semi-forgetting what being clipped in means. Oh no.

Couldn't unclip, and didn't grab brake till too late. Over I went - landed flat on my back with a solid thud, with bike on top of me. Sore for the rest of the day.
 

Comic Book Guy

Likes Dirt
My one and only unclip disaster came when I fell over on the footpath outside of a local shop that was full of people. Of course everyone turn around and gawked at me as I flayed around trying to unclip whilst laying on the ground. Just missed smacking my head on a car bumper.
 

downunderdallas

Likes Dirt
My one and only unclip disaster came when I fell over on the footpath outside of a local shop that was full of people. Of course everyone turn around and gawked at me as I flayed around trying to unclip whilst laying on the ground. Just missed smacking my head on a car bumper.
I have a pretty good one and appropriate for this thread, but pretty long story for those of you unfortunate enough to have experienced them it was using Onza's HO elastomer clipless pedals....yes elastomer!!

So had a new girlfriend at the time (1994) (now wife testament to her quality not mine) thought I'd take her for a ride around the river in Perth. Load bikes onto car drive into town, off we go. Got to the narrows (bridge across the narrow part of the river) and there was a little sandy track down the bridge embankment we used to ride. Told my new lady, "I'm just gonna do this cool bit down the side of the bidge, I'll see you at the bottom" .

I look resplendent in my brand new DBR lycra (yes basically everyone wore lycra then) on my brand new Diamondback Axis TR (cost more than my car) complete with aforementioned Onza HO's I had maybe one or two rides on, they were super stiff and hard to release.

I set off down the track but at the top was a little bush/stump you needed to turn around to get onto the good bit of track by the side of the bridge, it was a little boggier than usual and front wheel stopped dead going around the bush, usual story bike started to lean, couldn't unclip due to stupid pedals and I fell over. This would not have been a big deal as new girlfriend was down the hill and wouldn't have seen the embarassment except I fell on the small bush which had a small broken off branch which I impaled my lycra clad leg on.

So lifted myself off the bush soon realised with quantum of blood rushing out I had a problem. I hobbled up to the path, my now wife had circled back to the bottom of the hill I gestured to her to come back up. She was not wearing her glasses and though I was waving and cheerfully waved back. A bit more animated waving and I got her to come up.

So pre mobile phones she went with some helpful roadies to call a) ambulance and b) my parents to pick up the bikes!

Next thing police car shows up...(The bridge is also a traffic bridge) they got a report that a car hit a bike, me with shirt off wrapped around my bloodied leg had to admit no I fell off all on my own.

Both ambos and doctor wanted to cut off my brand new shorts which I violetently objected to and managed to keep them basicly intact, they did stretch over the offending timber, a kind of protection!

The ridiculous thing is I stuck with those Onza's for probably at least 6 months before getting some 737s (or whatever they were went they came out).
 
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