Funny stuff my kid says

stirk

Wheel size expert
I started a book a while back to record all the funny stuff my kids say which cracks me and wifey up.

I'll need to dig that up and share some, but to get things rolling for now......


Me, half asleep having my first coffee of the morning.

Son, aged 5, comes into the kitchen and says;

Son, "Dad, I was having a bad dream last night"

Me, "Yeah, what about mate?"

Son, " Captain Hook was trying to get me, but I kicked him in the nuts and he ran away!"

I sprayed the kitchen with coffee.
 

moorey

I'm full, couldn't eat another dick
My 7 you daughter just said, "fucking hell, that Stirk chunt starts a lot of pointless threads that could well be done as a single post in the LTIL/LTIH threads"

Shes quite astute. Me, I want a signed copy.
 

Knuckles

Burner
My 7 you daughter just said, "fucking hell, that Stirk chunt starts a lot of pointless threads that could well be done as a single post in the LTIL/LTIH threads"

Shes quite astute. Me, I want a signed copy.
She's certainly cut back on the sailor talk since I last saw her. Kudos on great parenting.

4 year old daughter:

Oh shit

Shit dad, I said shit

Shit I said shit again

Shit daddy, I can't tell you I said shit, without saying shit.

Fuck this shit, goodnight.

Me:

Good night, you little shit.
 

stirk

Wheel size expert
My 7 you daughter just said, "fucking hell, that Stirk chunt starts a lot of pointless threads that could well be done as a single post in the LTIL/LTIH threads"

Shes quite astute. Me, I want a signed copy.
Some things require their own place to shine, our kids are such a thing.

A signed copy of said book, if found, will be available, pick up only!:evil:
 
Uh oh, ya just gonna fire up the "every parent is a selfish cunt except mine coz they had me" brigade




When my boy was real little and mucking up I used to jokingly say "you are now entering smacktown, population you"

Once day I had some spare time and asked him if he wanted to go for a drive and where do you wanna go , to which he replied "smacktown"

we went up the wattagans instead
 

slippy

Likes Bikes and Dirt
4yo son: "There are some people who don't think I'm that great."

Me: "Who doesn't think you're great?"

4yo son: "People who don't know me."
 

kwikee

Likes Dirt
Then 4yo son who thinks I can fix anything brings me a broken toy that, unfortunately, couldn't be fixed.
Me: "nah, sorry mate, this one's too broken. I can't fix this"
4yo (with angelic innocence): "So is it fucked?"
Me: "yeah, mate, it's ruined."

Laughed my arse off! At least he used it in perfect context!
 

John U

MTB Precision
My daughter gets Bendigo and indigo mixed up. Pretty funny when she's talking about the colours of the rainbow and Bendigo keeps getting a mention.
 

moorey

I'm full, couldn't eat another dick
My daughter gets Bendigo and indigo mixed up. Pretty funny when she's talking about the colours of the rainbow and Bendigo keeps getting a mention.
Rainbows are very popular in Bendigo. Easy mistake.
 

dunndog

Eats Squid
5 year old son squirting water at my 2 year old daughter just half an hour ago, she's inside and he's outside hitting the window. "stop it, you fucken kids" she says. Bless the innocent.
 

stirk

Wheel size expert
5 year old son squirting water at my 2 year old daughter just half an hour ago, she's inside and he's outside hitting the window. "stop it, you fucken kids" she says. Bless the innocent.
The missus has the foul mouth right!
 

stirk

Wheel size expert
A couple of old ones.

Son falls asleep on lounge in the arvo, wakes up.
Mum: you fall asleep on the couch mate?
Son: yeah, I ran out of power.



Son: mum can I have some chocolate?
Mum: no.
Son: mum can I have some chocolate?
Mum: no have some fruit.
Son: mum, don't speak rudely to me.
 

Specialized29er

Likes Bikes
25 years ago were at the park walking the dog when a little guy said to us, hey mate your dogs balls are just like my dads.
I'll never forget that, nearly peed ourselves laughing.
 

stirk

Wheel size expert
Son: dad look at that bird on the electronic wire, he must have low battery and needs a charge.
 

hazza6542

Eats Squid
My 6yo nephew almost exclusively says 'Spagett' now at the top of his lungs when I'm around. His parents aren't the happiest about it.
 
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