Funny stuff my kid says

[stirk]

I started a book a while back to record all the funny stuff my kids say which cracks me and wifey up.

I'll need to dig that up and share some, but to get things rolling for now......


Me, half asleep having my first coffee of the morning.

Son, aged 5, comes into the kitchen and says;

Son, "Dad, I was having a bad dream last night"

Me, "Yeah, what about mate?"

Son, " Captain Hook was trying to get me, but I kicked him in the nuts and he ran away!"

I sprayed the kitchen with coffee.

 

[moorey]

My 7 you daughter just said, "fucking hell, that Stirk chunt starts a lot of pointless threads that could well be done as a single post in the LTIL/LTIH threads"

Shes quite astute. Me, I want a signed copy.

 

[Knuckles]

My 7 you daughter just said, "fucking hell, that Stirk chunt starts a lot of pointless threads that could well be done as a single post in the LTIL/LTIH threads"

Shes quite astute. Me, I want a signed copy.

She's certainly cut back on the sailor talk since I last saw her. Kudos on great parenting.

4 year old daughter:

Oh shit

Shit dad, I said shit

Shit I said shit again

Shit daddy, I can't tell you I said shit, without saying shit.

Fuck this shit, goodnight.

Me:

Good night, you little shit.

 

[stirk]

My 7 you daughter just said, "fucking hell, that Stirk chunt starts a lot of pointless threads that could well be done as a single post in the LTIL/LTIH threads"

Shes quite astute. Me, I want a signed copy.

Some things require their own place to shine, our kids are such a thing.

A signed copy of said book, if found, will be available, pick up only!:evil:

 

[JTmofo]

I've got nothing to ad, but it did remind me of this beauty.
https://youtu.be/_RW_fIWuG2c

 

[steve jobs' pancreas]

Uh oh, ya just gonna fire up the "every parent is a selfish cunt except mine coz they had me" brigade




When my boy was real little and mucking up I used to jokingly say "you are now entering smacktown, population you"

Once day I had some spare time and asked him if he wanted to go for a drive and where do you wanna go , to which he replied "smacktown"

we went up the wattagans instead

 

[moorey]

Bill Cosby. Thread closed

 

[placebo]

Jesus. He's got to be a real monster to roofie up kids too. :spider:

 

[moorey]

Jesus. He's got to be a real monster to roofie up kids too. :spider:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kids_Say_the_Darndest_Things

 

[slippy]

4yo son: "There are some people who don't think I'm that great."

Me: "Who doesn't think you're great?"

4yo son: "People who don't know me."

 

[kwikee]

Then 4yo son who thinks I can fix anything brings me a broken toy that, unfortunately, couldn't be fixed.
Me: "nah, sorry mate, this one's too broken. I can't fix this"
4yo (with angelic innocence): "So is it fucked?"
Me: "yeah, mate, it's ruined."

Laughed my arse off! At least he used it in perfect context!

 

[John U]

My daughter gets Bendigo and indigo mixed up. Pretty funny when she's talking about the colours of the rainbow and Bendigo keeps getting a mention.

 

[moorey]

My daughter gets Bendigo and indigo mixed up. Pretty funny when she's talking about the colours of the rainbow and Bendigo keeps getting a mention.

Rainbows are very popular in Bendigo. Easy mistake.

 

[dunndog]

5 year old son squirting water at my 2 year old daughter just half an hour ago, she's inside and he's outside hitting the window. "stop it, you fucken kids" she says. Bless the innocent.

 

[stirk]

5 year old son squirting water at my 2 year old daughter just half an hour ago, she's inside and he's outside hitting the window. "stop it, you fucken kids" she says. Bless the innocent.

The missus has the foul mouth right!

 

[stirk]

A couple of old ones.

Son falls asleep on lounge in the arvo, wakes up.
Mum: you fall asleep on the couch mate?
Son: yeah, I ran out of power.



Son: mum can I have some chocolate?
Mum: no.
Son: mum can I have some chocolate?
Mum: no have some fruit.
Son: mum, don't speak rudely to me.

 

[Specialized29er]

25 years ago were at the park walking the dog when a little guy said to us, hey mate your dogs balls are just like my dads.
I'll never forget that, nearly peed ourselves laughing.

 

[stirk]

Son: dad look at that bird on the electronic wire, he must have low battery and needs a charge.

 

[hazza6542]

My 6yo nephew almost exclusively says 'Spagett' now at the top of his lungs when I'm around. His parents aren't the happiest about it.

 

[stirk]

My 6yo nephew almost exclusively says 'Spagett' now at the top of his lungs when I'm around. His parents aren't the happiest about it.

Kids love bad uncle!

Fill them with suger for extreme hyperactive fun!