Funny stuff my kid says

J

Jesusfreak

Squid
Out of the blue, on the way home from our last ride, my 10 year old very thoughtfully came out with:

"Dad...if a human with a sword took on a human with a mace, he would have to be very brave and just a little bit stupid."

I had to swallow my smile and thoughtfully agree with him :p
 
born-again-biker

born-again-biker

Is looking for a 16" bar
My two year old daughter has really taken to her new found use of language.....and MEMORY....

The other morning wifey comes around the corner to find her two knuckles deep, mining for a green boogie....

Wifey: "hey, what are you doing there? That's gross!" (or something like that)

2 year old daughter(in broken two-year old speak): "Picking-a-winner"

No idea where she got that from....must be some little brat at day-care right?
 
M

mas2

Likes Bikes and Dirt
3yr old woke me up at 4:40am and asked if I could swap the sock on one foot with the sock on the other foot.

Next day he came into the kitchen saying he was "Soooo thirsty" and needed some water. I said "That's fine but what would make this easier is if you said the magic word. What's the magic word?" He looks at me, puts hand in the air and says "TA-DA!". I laughed and said "No mate whats the magic word you say when you want something" he looked at me a bit confused and said "ta-da?" again. I said "Sorry mate, there's a special word you say when you want someone to get something for you, do you know what that word is?" He looks at me and says "Abracadabra?".
 
stirk

stirk

Burner
born-again-biker said:
My two year old daughter has really taken to her new found use of language.....and MEMORY....

The other morning wifey comes around the corner to find her two knuckles deep, mining for a green boogie....

Wifey: "hey, what are you doing there? That's gross!" (or something like that)

2 year old daughter(in broken two-year old speak): "Picking-a-winner"

No idea where she got that from....must be some little brat at day-care right?
Click to expand...
Some kid has to come up with the funny shit, could be yours!

Or you could be that parent to teach them.. :behindsofa:

mas2 said:
3yr old woke me up at 4:40am and asked if I could swap the sock on one foot with the sock on the other foot.

Next day he came into the kitchen saying he was "Soooo thirsty" and needed some water. I said "That's fine but what would make this easier is if you said the magic word. What's the magic word?" He looks at me, puts hand in the air and says "TA-DA!". I laughed and said "No mate whats the magic word you say when you want something" he looked at me a bit confused and said "ta-da?" again. I said "Sorry mate, there's a special word you say when you want someone to get something for you, do you know what that word is?" He looks at me and says "Abracadabra?".
Click to expand...
Please is one of the last words on a toddlers mind!

Can I suggest you enlighten your child by making only odd socks available? Odd socks change the mindset, you know it's wrong but it's fun anyway!
 
born-again-biker

born-again-biker

Is looking for a 16" bar
mas2 said:
3yr old woke me up at 4:40am and asked if I could swap the sock on one foot with the sock on the other foot.

Next day he came into the kitchen saying he was "Soooo thirsty" and needed some water. I said "That's fine but what would make this easier is if you said the magic word. What's the magic word?" He looks at me, puts hand in the air and says "TA-DA!". I laughed and said "No mate whats the magic word you say when you want something" he looked at me a bit confused and said "ta-da?" again. I said "Sorry mate, there's a special word you say when you want someone to get something for you, do you know what that word is?" He looks at me and says "Abracadabra?".
Click to expand...
Classic.
I'm just impressed with his vocab - "Abracadabra" is quite the word for a 3 y.o.
 
M

Matt_V

Likes Bikes
My seven year old just looked over my shoulder whilst I was looking at a thread Moorey had posted in (what are the chances, I know). Being an avid tv watcher and familiar with the work of 20th Century Fox, he pointed at Moorey's avatar and asked, 'What's that show?'
 
Last edited:
Beej1

Beej1

Senior Member
stirk said:
Please is one of the last words on a toddlers mind!
Click to expand...
No kidding. Each repetition of the following exchange increased in volume on her part, to the point she was blue in the face screaming loud enough for my neighbour to ask me about it the next day.

Daughter: I WANT CHICKEN NUGGETS!
Me: Ask me properly
(Repeat 15 times, adding an exclamation point each time)

Daughter: I. WANT. CHICKEN. NUUUUUUGEEEEETS!!
Me: No. You know what you need to say at the end of that for me to give you what you want, so just say it.
Daughter:(deep, deep breath) NOW!!!
 
Beej1

Beej1

Senior Member
My fave of late: I was sitting on the couch watching her play with her blocks, when she let rip the most almighty of farts. I was both impressed and proud, but kept it to myself rather than instigating a fist bump, per agreement with her mother.

Daughter: I just farted!
Me: I know! I heard it.
Daughter: Can you do a fart daddy?
Me: Well ... not on demand, no.
Daughter: (pauses) No not on da mand ... on da couch!
 
M

mas2

Likes Bikes and Dirt
6yr year old says "Dad did you know corn is a type of grass? It's true, it really is. Also, they have ears."
 
davee

davee

Likes Bikes
2nd day of school for my 5yo convo with his teacher
Teacher: so everyone had a good first day.
Son with arms crossed: No not everyone had a good day.
Teacher: I suppose that is true.

He has such an attitude teachers think it is so cute, wife and I not so much.
 
Knuckles

Knuckles

Lives under a bridge
davee said:
2nd day of school for my 5yo convo with his teacher
Teacher: so everyone had a good first day.
Son with arms crossed: No not everyone had a good day.
Teacher: I suppose that is true.

He has such an attitude teachers think it is so cute, wife and I not so much.
Click to expand...
It'll wear thin with the teachers pretty quickly too.
 
S

sutts

Likes Bikes
Having a shower with my 2yo boy after swimming lessons. He's standing on the ground and bends over looking under the partition.
He then starts shouting louder and louder "Daddy the mans doing wee's in the shower"
Couldn't shut him up quick enough
 
Chriso_29er

Chriso_29er

Likes Bikes and Dirt
My little feller is obsessed with signs, reads every one.
Walking across the footbridge near Studley park boat house he has seen the no bikes sign. Very popular road bike route.
As we were walking back across two roadies were riding across towards us. Just as they meet with us he yells out 'NO BIKES' right at them.
I was so embarrassed, they probably thought I was some bike hater that had told him to say it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top