You know you're a cyclist when...

Nerf Herder

Nerf Herder

Wheel size expert
This happened last night ... bare with me.

So post ride KFC ... had 2 flats and the lads flogged me ... so had to load up on super saturated fat innit.

Anyway ... this local KFC ... happens to be near a brothel ... uhmmmmm ... and I happen to always park outside of said establishment so I can savour the succulence that is the Colonel's secret oil drowned Chicken bits.

The missus doesn't like me eating it ... but being a naughty boy ... I crave it at times ... but not wanting to get caught I had every window and the sun roof open to let as much of the lingering aromas out of the mighty RAV.

Anywho ... two "Ladeez" for whatever reason ... prolly just one of those get out of the "office" excuses ... come out the gate and there I be ... covered in sweet sweet dripping oil and fat licking me fingers ... uhmmm one comes over and rests on the door and of all things I would have expected to hear, she says ... "NICE BIKE ... never seen one of those before ..."

"Huh, wat ... uhmmm yep, its a NOX ... one of two in Oz" ... I eloquently and somewhat boastfully mumble whilst enjoying the lemony aroma of the moist towelette (one of the best parts of KFC IMO)

Anyway ... being in post glutton mode and talking bikes with a somewhat pretty girl, we pretty much kill 30 mins going over races she's done, how she got into bikes and fav tracks ... and she even makes me take the rig off the rack so she can have a bounce ... silk robe and fluffy slippers and all ... is that just a stereotype or what.

So, I asked all those deeply suppressed questions that most of us would have, of a Lady of the Night ... "So, I suppose you have plenty of time to ride mid weeks aye ... we should go for a ride". ... "gloves or no gloves", "firm in the rear or soft and bouncy" ... nah no subconscious, Freudian invoked, linkage to these questions what so ever.

Was a strange but comforting conversation similar to what I would have had or have had with many I have met off here ... and as always its good to meet another Farker ... :drum:

So you know your a cyclist when you can enjoy your post ride KFC whilst talking guff about bikes :pirate:
 
M

MTB Wanabe

Likes Dirt
Nerf Herder said:
Was a strange but comforting conversation similar to what I would have had or have had with many I have met off here ... and as always its good to meet another Farker ... :drum:

So you know your a cyclist when you can enjoy your post ride KFC whilst talking guff about bikes :pirate:
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That is absolute gold there Nerf!!! So what you are saying is you know when you are a mtber when talking to a lady of the night and all you can think about is how good the trail was you just shreaded!!!!

KFC, HJ's, Subway all have the same luring effect on me too post ride.
 
Minlak

Minlak

custom titis
MTB Wanabe said:
That is absolute gold there Nerf!!! So what you are saying is you know when you are a mtber when talking to a lady of the night and all you can think about is how good the trail was you just shreaded!!!!

KFC, HJ's, Subway all have the same luring effect on me too post ride.
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Was i the only one that chuckled at this in the context of the post?
 
ride_29er

ride_29er

Likes Dirt
When you catch yourself using any of these phrases/doing these actions

[video=youtube;kW7xzBC-qa0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW7xzBC-qa0[/video]



(hope this hasn't already been posted yet, sorry if it has, rather alot of pages to go through although i will get there!)
 
akashra

akashra

Eats Squid
You know you're a cyclist when in an IT job for purely computer-related purposes someone asks for a screwdriver, and you're able to provide a multi-tool.

Also, that CX video was *awesome* - rode my CX bike to work today and the route wasn't 10% as cool as that :D
 
Nerf Herder

Nerf Herder

Wheel size expert
When you can give a "hand me down" bike to the kids when they finally out grow their 16" ... uhmmm, it doesn't matter that they skipped 20", 24" and jumped straight onto a 26er ... and can't use the brakes, because their hands aren't big enough ... so you have to run after them and pull their shirts to slow them down.

when your kid loves getting death wobbles down the "hill of death" whilst your both doubling ... and your both screaming your guts out and laughing. Good times :pirate:
 
Nerf Herder

Nerf Herder

Wheel size expert
when you can see the practical side of these

430354_385591131507531_552435487_n.jpg

casual Fridays ... after sales meeting ... pub attire ... sunday bests
 
bellbolski

bellbolski

Squid
your driving down the street, and see someone on a bike, and think you poor bugger, thats not a bike, then reflect on your own bike... and think my K-MART bike days are over... i see... i feel... i laugh... poor buggers...
 
D

driftking

Wheel size expert
You can't look at a hill without seeing a track.

You look at people riding and think if they should to up or down a gear.

You checkout the bike on the back of the car before the car.
 
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