Funny stuff my kid says

My 5yo had a zinger the other weekend during the Sydney storms. During one downpour, I call him over to the back door to see the yard flooding. He watches for a bit, lets rip this massive fart and says "That's how my bottom says wow." :lol:
 
Tradition on Sat/Sun mornings for the kids is "dippy eggs"...boiled eggs and toast soldiers.
After finishing her breakfast this morning, looking over the remnants of empty shells and soggy toast, my 5 year old daughter states.
"Dad, I don't think I need all this crap on my plate anymore"
No idea where she gets it from, God love her.
 
Completely random:

5 yr old daughter: do you drink blood?
Mum: not usually, why?
Her: because I'd like to taste yours...
 
If you lie down on the floor, mr 3 will yell out "snacks on" before diving on top of you - and don't try to correct him that just isn't fun.
 
3 year old son was crying in the bath. I asked "whats wrong mate".

His 5 year old sister informed me, "he's upset because he can't have a baby, I told him that he can't have a baby because he doesn't have a "giny", and he can't push it out because his pee pee is in the way."

Fair enough!:faint:
 
Was at a kids party on Saturday, had to take the five year old daughter to the toilet (her mother was too drunk to do it, WTF??). After she finished told her to wait while I had a leak. Heard the door open behind me, then "I'm going daddy, but don't worry, I'll shut the door, because if someone sees your penis, they might be disappointed..." :click:

Time to cut back mummy daughter time.

#knuckleswasadrunkenchunt
 
Knuckles said:
Was at a kids party on Saturday, had to take the five year old daughter to the toilet (her mother was too drunk to do it, WTF??). After she finished told her to wait while I had a leak. Heard the door open behind me, then "I'm going daddy, but don't worry, I'll shut the door, because if someone sees your penis, they might be disappointed..." :click:

Time to cut back mummy daughter time.

#knuckleswasadrunkenchunt
Click to expand...

Just tell her it was a cold day. Works for me. Even in summer
 
Knuckles said:
Was at a kids party on Saturday, had to take the five year old daughter to the toilet (her mother was too drunk to do it, WTF??). After she finished told her to wait while I had a leak. Heard the door open behind me, then "I'm going daddy, but don't worry, I'll shut the door, because if someone sees your penis, they might be disappointed..." :click:

Time to cut back mummy daughter time.

#knuckleswasadrunkenchunt
Click to expand...
Hahahahahaha....... gold.
 
Knuckles said:
Was at a kids party on Saturday, had to take the five year old daughter to the toilet (her mother was too drunk to do it, WTF??). After she finished told her to wait while I had a leak. Heard the door open behind me, then "I'm going daddy, but don't worry, I'll shut the door, because if someone sees your penis, they might be disappointed..." :click:

Time to cut back mummy daughter time.

#knuckleswasadrunkenchunt
Click to expand...

:heh: smartarse is genetic



My Daughter asked me the other day why the slipless pillow was naked. She looked concerned.
 
Four year old daughter in the bath. "Daddy I don't wash with that soap because it makes my vulva itchy."

At least she's anatomically correct...
 
rangersac said:
Four year old daughter in the bath. "Daddy I don't wash with that soap because it makes my vulva itchy."

At least she's anatomically correct...
Click to expand...

Girls learn very quickly that soap and the privates are not friends! Mum of course reinforces the lesson.
 
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