Funny stuff my kid says

[wesdadude]

My son (5) asked me to buy him an air guitar!

I've got one of those

 

[stirk]

Son doing a poo says, "when I push hard my of my ball sacks goes up"

Had to laugh at that one!

 

[Chriso_29er]

My wife had to take the little feller to the doctors.
Sitting in the quiet but busy waiting room an older scruffy looking dood walks in.
Little guy says quiet loud in front of every one. "Mum is that man a burgler"

 

[Flow-Rider]

Not my kid but had to give him a high-five.
At the trail head the other day with a ride buddy and his 10 year old kid.

Dad="Mummy said to not let you get your clothes dirty"

kid ="Are you going to let your wife boss you around again ?"

 

[nzhumpy]

My wife had to take the little feller to the doctors.
Sitting in the quiet but busy waiting room an older scruffy looking dood walks in.
Little guys say quiet loud in front of every one. "Mum is that man a burgler"

That reminds me of a time my wife had to take our two to the Dr, sitting patiently in the waiting room when an old fella looking pretty crook and dishevelled with an eye-patch walks in and sits opposite, Miss 2 holds her hand up over her eye and goes Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! then Mr 3.5 yells "Ahoy me hearties". Wife wanted the ground to open up but ol'mate took it pretty well apparently.

 

[slowmick]

My nephew (who lives in a small country town) was in the super market with his mum when he saw an older sikh man - complete with long beard and turban.

He stood up in the trolley, pointed to the man and screamed - "Look mum - it's a Genie..."

 

[Zaf]

Removed by user

 

[droenn]

"woof"

 

[Cardy George]

My youngest had the usual three year old mix ups, like doog (good), saurages etc, all of which he's grown out of. Except......

"Hey Moose, how come the sky is blue?"

"Really come."

It's a 100% automatic answer anytime he hears the words 'how come'.

He's now 6, and going by the look on his face he knows it's not the right answer, but he still can't stop himself.

 

[born-again-biker]

During a nice moment together with my 4 year old daughter. Y'know, sunny day, playing together in the back yard. Having a giggle together.

Me: "You know, I love you very much my little princess"

Daughter: "You've got a booger in your nose"

Hmm. OK. Thanks, I guess....

 

[tubby74]

I work from home most days. Went to kids class and they all did a drawing of their families and wrote a sentence. My kid wrote "mummy goes to work and daddy stays home". I'm officially a kept man now

 

[creaky]

Stayed at home with my 5yo who had stomach issues yesterday. I was working on the computer and he came in and said "daddy, my poo was so runny that when I got up there was water all over the floor". Needless to say I was apprehensive in approaching.

Still not sure whether it was liquid shit, piss or whether he'd somehow managed to get toilet water out onto the floor....

 

[Oddjob]

Stayed at home with my 5yo who had stomach issues yesterday. I was working on the computer and he came in and said "daddy, my poo was so runny that when I got up there was water all over the floor". Needless to say I was apprehensive in approaching.

Still not sure whether it was liquid shit, piss or whether he'd somehow managed to get toilet water out onto the floor....

Is your son named Minlak?

 

[Chriso_29er]

I work from home most days. Went to kids class and they all did a drawing of their families and wrote a sentence. My kid wrote "mummy goes to work and daddy stays home". I'm officially a kept man now

Always some gold comes out of the kinda classes. Expecially around dads and mums days.

 

[Chriso_29er]

Mr 5 runs up to the wife and says the dogs all wet coz shes been running through wet bushes!
Little while later, wife goes around a corner to find the hose/nossle/tap live and water all over the joint.

 

[Mr Adonis]

With Fathers Day coming up, kids had to get up in front of class and explain why their daddies were the best. My 8 year old daughter gets up, and tells everyone her dad farts alot at home, and picks his nose.
Word gets around quickly at school....

When my daughter was much younger, she told her teacher 'that daddy walks around the house naked when its hot showing off' - called into principals office to 'please explain' - turns out daughter thought that been shirtless was the same as been naked.

 

[Cardy George]

"Drink a whole can of soft drink, and don't go to the toilet. So when you have a fight and they cut you open, you spray them with soft drink"

What sort of monster have we created

 

[Chriso_29er]

Me - Sneaky little fart on the hardwood floor as I'm playing hotwheels cars with Mr 5

Mr 5 - I can see green air!

 

[slowmick]

 

[Chriso_29er]

Ha ha ha, seems green is the universal colour of farts in childrens books and animations!